Hi son, well what a shit weekend you are probably aware of what has been going on that man even though he is now dead is still causing trouble, I just can't believe your brother actually believes that I have lied to him all these years, that man tells him something 5yrs ago which was alie and that wipes out the 31yrs that I have brought him up, and how can I prove to him that his father lied to him he is gone now so I can't confront him and get him to tell your brother the truth, the only prove I have that I haven't lied to him is the court papers but I know if i show him them he will be absolutely devastated and I don't want to hurt him any more than he already is, so do I just go on letting him think that it was my fault and blaming me the rest of my life. What do I do? I hate the thought of him thinking I would have lied to him all these years he doesn't remember all the things his father done because he was so little but I know that you did,I haven't told him half of what went on because I didn't want to hurt him but that has sure backfired on me now, all the beatings, and all the "abuse" that I lived with how can I tell him now, his father is dead and he will think I am just saying it now because he can't question his father about it, so I am in a no win situation, It makes me so mad he has hurt my kids all his life and he is such a selfish bas---d he went to his grave having lied to Christian nowing that it will torment him the rest of his life, stupidly I thought when he died that would put an end to all the hurt he caused you kids but how wrong can you be he is causing more hurt now he has gone than he did when he was here, God I wish you were here you are the only other person who knows the truth, please try and get through to Christian I can't live with my son hating me you have to help me son, I know you are capable of reaching him, even if it is in his sleep, please will you do it for me I will be so grateful, I know you having to relive those memories won't be easy for you either but Christian needs your help to get through this, he can't cope with things like you and I did he is so easily hurt. Sorry son to lay this at your feet but I don't know what else to do other than show him the court papers and I will only do that as a last resort. Thanks for listening to my troubles once again, what would I do without you in my corner. I love and miss you so much son, take care JP , Love MUM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx