Hi Son, well thank God this day is over, I just can't hack it any more I know I should be so grateful that I have the kids here on Xmas day and if it wasn't for their sake I would just shut the whole world out for the day. I get up and go to the cemetary to put your flowers on your grave then I go to that horrible hospital my mum is locked up in and spend an hour with this woman that doesn't even know who we are anymore and doesn't even realise we are there, then you are supposed to go home and enjoy the rest of the day, I would rather just give the whole thing a miss. God I just wish things could be different and we were a complete family again there just seems to be little pleasure in anything since you have been gone. I am going to go and have an early night as I didn't sleep last night but I'm sure you know the reason for that, you must get so bored listening to all my woes but there is no one else that understands everyone thinks I should be "over it" by now but I never will be. Well son that another xmas passed that is one less that I have to spend away from you. Miss you baby. MUMxxxxxxxxxxxxxx