Hi Son, just thought I would drop by I know it has been a couple of weeks since I have written anything here but I do look in most days, just don't seem to be able to find the words to say, even on the community I am finding it hard to respond to people, just feel I am trying to help others, and seem to be able to do that, but can't seem to be able to help myself, it is almost 17yrs and I just can't get you out of my every waking thought, I will never understand why that had to happen to you, you had so much to look forward to, finally, after such a shit start to your life, it just seems so unfair. Why wasn't it me? I will never understand why any mother is left here to try and find a life living with this pain, just know son that if I could have changed things I would have taken your place in a heartbeat, no parent should ever outlive their child. Miss you every minute of every day JP. lots of love MUM xxxxxxxx