Well JP thats my birthday past for another year, days like these are so hard, I miss not being able to speak to you or get a card from you, life is really shit at the moment I just don't seem to be able to lift this mood I am in, I feel so lonely at times but then when anyone does comes round I just can't be bothered even speaking to them, sounds awful I know, but really can't be bothered with anyone at the moment, the more time that goes by things just seem to get harder, I wish to God you handn't died that night, why the hell did you get in that idiots car? . Missing you so much, Mum xxxxx