Well J.P. got through today it was really hard I just can't believe Dean is 21. I don't know where the last 15yrs have gone, today brought back a lot of really sad memories and I'm trying hard to hold it together right now, we never celebrated your 21st because you were in Germany and I feel so guilty that I didn't organise something when you came home on leave in August, but then none of us new we would never have that chance again I'm so sorry son. I'm just feeling so sad, I miss you so much. I have to go can't see the keyboard, speak to you soon. Mum xx.