Hi son, guess what? got a laptop from your sister and brothers for xmas, this should be fun, took me long enough to learn how to switch on the old computer never mind using something totally new. So you will have to excuse any mistakes, the keypad is a bit different so I am trying to find my way around it. Well son today has been a quiet one have done nothing all day, Iam just so tired I think all the running around for xmas has taken its toll, so a couple of days in the house is called for. I'm sorry for bursting your bum last night but I was really low, and you know me I don't talk to anyone about how I am feeling, so sorry you are the only one I can talk to. You always did understand me more than anyone else, because we were so alike in our nature "hard on the outside soft on the inside" always thinking about how others feel and never talking about how we feel. Well son if only they new how crap I feel most of the time but then again who really cares, its 14years now and everyone thinks I should have moved on by now, but how can I when part of me died that day to. I will feel like this till it is my time to join you, and that is ok because I don't want to forget what happened because that would mean I had forgot about you and that will never happen. I'll say goodnight son and speak to you again soon. Mum xxx.