Hi son, added a bit more to my journal tonight not an awful lot though, it is like writting a story and I ain't no authur, it is trying to remember everything and putting it all into words, you do a bit then you remember some thing that you have missed then you have to edit and try and fit it in at the right time and place, and trying to remember when things happened is really hard as most of those first few years are quite vague as most of the time I was not in the best of shape between depression and grief I sometimes wonder how I survived that time, came close a few times to not being here, it would have been so easy if it hadn't been for the other three. Anyway it didn't happen and I am still here so I just have to make the most of it and the kids make it a bit easier, not that there isn't times when those old feelings come flooding back. Going to go now so I'll say goodnight and I'll speak to you soon. Love you son, MUM xxxxxx.