Hi son, just me thought I would come and talk to you, feeling like crap and just can't shake it of, I am so pissed off with all the mess and nothing getting done, all i seem to be doing is moaning to everyone but I would be just as well not bothering because no one is listening, the building work is more or less finished but the house is in such a mess with boxes everywhere and i just can't manage on my own, the decorating still isn't finished and the rest of the carpets go down on friday, everything is just getting on top of me, Arlene came down today and helped I think she was feeling sorry for me cause it is not like her to do anything, Dean is just hard work he never does what he says he is going to do, and Christian is so busy with his new job he doesn't have a minute, he was doing the tiling but it is only half done and he hasn't been able to finish it. think i will probably end up getting someone in to help cause it is doing my head in living like this it has just been going on to long, wish i had listened and just sold up last year. Anyway that is enough of my worries how are things with you, got e-mails from 2 lads that you served with, Lee Spinks and Matthew Stone, I had left a message on the 32 eng reg web site asking if anyone knew you to get in touch, Matthew Stone said he was supposed to be with you that night but changed his mind at the last minute, why the hell didn't you? I miss you so much and just wish I could turn the clock back and have you here, sometimes I still can't get my head round it, why did it have to happen, I wish I knew maybe then I could see a reason for it, you didn't deserve to have it happen to you, your life had been hard enough and when you finally had some happiness it was cut short, it just doesn't seem fair. sorry for being a pain but really feeling down at the moment and just don't know why I keep going, it would be so easy just to call it a day. Love you son, Take care Mum xxxxxxxxxx